Nigerian Ladies Worry Over Scarcity Of Men

The recent alarm raised by the
Catholic Women Organisation that
husbands would become scarce in
Nigeria in 2023 may just be right as
P.M.NEWS can confirm that many
Nigerian spinsters are currently
witnessing the no-husband
syndrome.
Within the last few weeks, some of
the ladies who spoke with our
correspondent reported serious
apprehension, pressure and a total
lack of peace as the consequence of
their inability to get married.
One of the ladies, who preferred to
be simply called Titi said she had
taken the issue of marriage as a do-
or-die affair due to "internal
pressure" but that as much as she
had tried, frustration had often been
the result.
At 37, the businesswoman who sells
clothes in Ikeja, the Lagos State
capital in western Nigeria, told
P.M.NEWS that she is not finding life
easy.
"What is happiness without a man
in a woman's life?"she asked our
correspondent during a chat on
Badoo, a relationship site on the
internet.
She had dated several men with
some promising marriage, but
without fulfilling the promise.
"You can't imagine that in the last
three years, I have dated about
eight men, but the relationship was
often short-lived simply because I
ask for their commitment.
"I am not getting any younger and I
cry every time I see my mates with
their husbands and children.
"If at 37 I don't have a child or a
permanent man, when would I have
them? Is it when my skin has
wrinkled? she asked our
correspondent.
Chioma (surname withheld), 35, has
found herself patronising many of
the social interaction sites on the
internet.
The banker told our correspondent
that she is on Eskimi, 2go, Badoo,
Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter as well
as 4clique, a site that was launched
in Nigeria days ago.
"We can't tell the particular broom
in the bunch that kills a fly," she
told P.M.NEWS on why she
patronises such number of social
interaction sites.
"I always change my name in the
different sites but the ultimate goal
is to get a husband," she added.
Chioma told P.M.NEWS that she is
really worried about the situation,
adding that she lives comfortably
(in a mini-flat and has a car), "but
who do I have to enjoy this comfort
with me?
"I have tried a hook up programme
on a Lagos-based radio station, but
my age is now a major factor
hindering my dream of being
married," she lamented pleading
with our married correspondent,
who she considered a bachelor, to
"help dry my tears."
A married woman, who gave her
name as Mrs. Blessing Aguebor and
resident in Oshodi, confirmed that
the issue of lack of serious men for
marriage is giving many ladies
sleepless nights.
She narrated the touching story of
her friend who was disappointed by
her boyfriend of five years when it
was time to "settle down".
"My friend was 29 when he met this
man in Benin and they dated for five
years. The man was always giving
the lady hope without her knowing
the man had other plans. The year
he fixed for their marriage was the
year he travelled abroad without
even informing my friend.
"It was later he called her and asked
her to find another man because he
still had many more years to hustle.
My friend almost went mad.
"She is 36 now without a man. I had
to convince her to relocate to Lagos
so that possibly out of the
population here, she would find
someone. It is pathetic," she said.
A 38-year old business woman in
Ketu, Mrs. Rita Adewunmi, narrated
how she lost her first husband to a
friend, Idayat, who was desperate
for a husband.
According to Mrs. Adewunmi who
remarried last year, Idayat was 36
and needed a husband but her
search was endless.
"I was always encouraging her and
made her a part of my family. She
would always help me take care of
the kids when I go to the market.
"With time, she took over my
husband without my knowledge
until the day I caught them red-
handed and that was the end of my
marriage. Ladies are like hunters
these days," she said.
Asked why she was not married at
34, Blessing Osuoha, a nurse with a
private hospital in Abuja, retorted:
"that is why I'm on this social site.
Why are you asking? Is it a bad idea
if you propose to me?"
She explained that life was
becoming unbearable without a
husband.
"My friends and family members are
aways asking when they would
come and 'chop' rice, and I keep
hoping," she added.
A marriage counsellor in Lagos, Mrs.
Victoria Aliu, told P.M.NEWS that
scarcity of 'real men' is becoming a
terrible condition for women ready
for marriage.
She blamed the problem partly on
the Nigerian economy, confusion
among the bachelors on their
choices of the women they want as
wives and the attitudes of the
spinsters.
"Many women, whether consciously
or not, behave irritably sometimes,
forgetting that the man just beside
them at every point in time may
just have been nursing how to start
a conversation that could lead to
marriage.
"Some other ladies are very choosy
and unserious at their early stages
of adulthood. They only open their
eyes to discover that their friends
are all married and that they are the
only ones left at the bus stop. Then
it becomes a terrible case for them,"
she explained.

Posted By David Aniemeka